Reflections
The myth of incompatibility
Someone has defined the difference between a Christian family and a non Christian family in this way: "A non Christian family has many problems which has to face on its own. A Christian family also has many problems, but it handles them in the grace and power of the Lord Jesus Christ."
Too much is being made of the word incompatibility in many Christian families and many of my counselling sessions with Christian couples who are in difficulty have scenes where one partner or the other says, 'Well I suppose the real problem is simply that we are incompatible'. The Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier suggests that we eliminate the word incompatibility from our vocabulary. He says, "So- called emotional incompatibility is a myth invented by jurists short of arguments in order to plead for divorce. It is likewise a common excuse people use in order to hide their own feelings. I simply do not believe it exists. There are no emotional incompatibilities. There are misunderstandings and mistakes, however, which can be corrected where there is willingness to do so."
Every family has its problems -mine as well as yours- but spiritually mature people will refuse to let them solidify, realising that maturity is the capacity to correct problems in a Christ-like and Biblical way. Let's allow the Lord to be the centre of our family life, and help us achieve the family unity which only a Christian home can truly experience.
Too much is being made of the word incompatibility in many Christian families and many of my counselling sessions with Christian couples who are in difficulty have scenes where one partner or the other says, 'Well I suppose the real problem is simply that we are incompatible'. The Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier suggests that we eliminate the word incompatibility from our vocabulary. He says, "So- called emotional incompatibility is a myth invented by jurists short of arguments in order to plead for divorce. It is likewise a common excuse people use in order to hide their own feelings. I simply do not believe it exists. There are no emotional incompatibilities. There are misunderstandings and mistakes, however, which can be corrected where there is willingness to do so."
Every family has its problems -mine as well as yours- but spiritually mature people will refuse to let them solidify, realising that maturity is the capacity to correct problems in a Christ-like and Biblical way. Let's allow the Lord to be the centre of our family life, and help us achieve the family unity which only a Christian home can truly experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment